Family Stress Management - Stress Reduction for the Whole Family
Dr. Christopher Willard (Psy. D), Psychologist at Tufts University and in Private Practice, Author of Childs Mind
Many of us adults have probably noticed that we spend more and more of our time rushing around from place to place and task to task. We are constantly doing, doing, doing with less and less time for just being. We are a culture of overbooked adults.
Unfortunately, we are unintentionally creating a generation of overloaded children. Stressed-out parents create stressed-out kids. Even with the best of intentions, taking kids for enrichment activities in arts, athletic and extra academics can start to have the effect of creating kids who are doing rather than just being. When it is time to relax, we rarely have the time to teach children to just be with themselves in a relaxed way and experience the present moment. They have video games, computers and TV’s in their rooms that serve as distractions from their own internal emotional experience during down time. In turn, they don’t have the opportunity to be in touch with their own emotional state and develop their emotional intelligence.
As an adult reading this blog, you may already know that one of the best ways of getting in touch with our experience is through mindfulness practices. Increasingly, the mindfulness research has been turning to children and adolescents. The research reveals data about increasing that emotional intelligence, boosting creativity and concentration, and reducing stress in kids and the entire family.
In my book, Child’s Mind, I explain in greater depth many of the benefits and ways to teach kids. Here is one simple exercise for kids or families to get in touch with their experience, settle down and focus. The best way to ensure that your kids practice and to remind yourself about your own practice is to do these activities together as a family.
Pre-Homework Mindful Grounding Exercise for Family Stress Management
With back to school time fast approaching, it is an opportunity to get into new family stress management habits and simple, regular mindfulness practices. This exercise can help get young minds settled and into a place where they can think more clearly and creatively as they approach a homework task. Many kids have trouble “shifting gears” into work mode, but mindfulness practices can ease that transition from play time to work time, or vice versa.
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My favorite is “count to five senses.” Working with kids for a while now, many have told me that counting to ten to calm down or taking deep breaths is “played out.” This kind of forced me to get creative.
The idea is simple. Just sit quietly and count to five senses. It's most fun to do this together with your child or children. Start with body sensations and just notice - an itchy leg, a twitchy eye, a sore thumb, a rumbly tummy.
Move on to sounds such as your own breath, a bird outside, an airplane overhead or a lawnmower in the distance. From there, just look around the room and notice five things of a certain color. See if you can notice a few different smells or tastes (it is much harder to get to five with that one).
By the time you’ve even gone through body sensations, you may notice yourself and your children feeling calmer and more focused. With some practice, you can even add in the sixth sense - the mind sense - and notice five thoughts or feelings as they drift through the mind.
Link the practice to a regular time of day, like after dinner or before homework time. You will soon be amazed at how much more easily children transition and how much calmer everyone in the family starts to become!
Dr. Christopher Willard is a Tufts University and private practice psychologist and author of Childs Mind. Christopher's websites are at
Read Christopher Willard's book, Childs Mind, to learn how to teach mindfulness meditation exercises to children. Learn more about family stress management by visiting his websites. Remember also to keep visiting The Ultimate Stress Blog.
Related articles: Meditation in Schools | Teaching Guided Meditation to Children
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Categories: Family, Meditation/Yoga/Relaxation Techniques, Relationships Personal
