STRESS: Moving from Distress to Eustress | Dr. Marlene Caroselli
Dr. Marlene Caroselli, author of The Language of Leadership and other books
WHAT IS STRESS?
Stress is the natural and normal reaction to events that occur on a regular and on a less-frequent basis. When we fail to control stress or cope with it, we may experience distress. When we handle it well, when we use stress to give us the drive we need to compete and to succeed, then we experience eustress. There is the “good stress,” for example, that a bride experiences on her wedding day and the “bad stress” that we experience when things get out of control.
A related problem is burnout, which we usually associate with work. If our jobs are causing an ongoing deterioration in our ability to cope, if they are causing mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion, then we may be experiencing burnout. The good news is that we can recharge our batteries and restore optimism. But if we are unwilling or unable to rejuvenate, then the cumulative effect can be very damaging indeed.
One way to judge if you are a candidate for burnout is to ask yourself:
Are my expectations too high?
Am I constantly seeking perfection?
Do I have trouble admitting problems?
Have others mentioned the possibility of burnout to me?
Am I too idealistic?
WHAT CAUSES STRESS?
Basically, when things are going the way we want them to go, we experience little or no stress. These “things” might be finances, career, relationships, health, et cetera. But when things are not turning out as we want them to, when we feel we are losing control of situations, then we begin to experience stress. Think about the “things” in your life. Which are turning out the way you expect them to? Which are not, despite your very best efforts?
Things that are turning out the way I want Things that are not turning out as I hoped
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Not surprisingly, psychologists tell us that negative stress results when we feel we have little or no control over situations. One clue to your personal control-factor may lie in the way you answer this question: “How do you know when you’ve done a good job?”
If you cited others–for example, “My boss tells me I’ve done a good job”–then the external-control quotient in your stress-equation is probably pretty high. However, if you cited yourself–for example, “I am pleased with the results”–then your internal-control factor is probably quite healthy.
Think of all the things you do on a weekly basis. How many of them are you doing because of your own wishes/intents and how many are you doing because others expect or want you to? Express your answer as a percentage: To what extent do you feel “externally controlled”?
Change, for most of us, is a cause of great stress. The ever-increasing speed at which change occurs–whether we like that speed or not–is a source of considerable tension for many Americans. (In fact, the great religious leader, Norman Vincent Peale, once remarked, “The American people are so tense that it is impossible to put them to sleep–even with a sermon.”)
We cannot change the changes, for life is a perpetually-shifting mosaic. Permanency only comes when life has ended. But we can change our reactions to change. We can learn to view new situations as a source of challenge, not a source of distress. We can force ourselves to consider innovation and altered circumstances as small miracles, offering us the opportunity for growth and an escape from boredom. Nothing remains forever. Given the inescapable fact that change is a normal part of life, we need to draw upon the emotional resources to help us meet new challenges and to stimulate us to action.
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Developed by Dr. Marlene Caroselli, author of The Language of Leadership (a main selection by the Executive Book Club); The Business Ethics Activity Book (a Director’s Choice by Doubleday Book Club); and numerous other publications. Her most recent books are 500 Creative Classroom Techniques for Teachers and Trainers (HRD Press) and 8 Leadership Tips from Real Leaders (Axzo Press). Marlene’s Website is at
Related Articles:
Use Stress to Motivate and Achieve
The Effects of Stress Versus Distress
Is There Such a Thing as Good Stress?
Read Marlene Caroselli’s books to learn more about stress, distress, eustress and leadership skills. Remember also to keep visiting The Ultimate Stress Blog.
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