The “Dogness” of Life and Stress
Dr. Frank Wood, clinical psychologist, Ultimate Stress Blog Columnist and director of The Institute on Mindfulness
In his book Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn talks about looking at a dog and really seeing the dog in its total “dogness,” as he calls it.
In thinking about this, I recall reading The Little Prince and the author’s description of the snake that swallowed the elephant. The child saw it clearly while the more reasonable response was that it was not a snake but merely a hat.
What is it that you see when you see a dog? What is it you see when you see a snake … or a hat?
Kabat-Zinn talks about his child asking the question on whether there was a person inside their family dog. Certainly children are not bound by the rules of experience. “Of course there is not a person inside our dog” might be an immediate response. As an experienced adult, we see things for what they are. The dog, well it is a dog. If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all … and a dog is a dog. This same mindset is also involved in prejudice … they (whomever they are) are all the same. The “rich” well they are all alike. The “poor” well, they are all alike. The “college graduate” well, they are all alike. The “plumber” well, they are all alike. The “Medical Doctor” well, they are all alike. The “Nurse” well, they are all alike. The “Democrat” well, they are all alike. The “Republican” well, they are all alike.
Kabat-Zinn’s encouragement, it seems, is to look at the dog as a child looks at a dog. Looking at the dog as if it were the first time you ever saw dog. Rather than retreating into seeing through our thoughts and opinions. It is amazing at how our mind can prevent us from seeing what is right in front of us. Seeing the fact that our dog is a member of our family. Seeing the fact that the presence of our dog makes the energy in the room change as she races to the window to bark at the passing family taking it’s nightly stroll. The joy that is real as she sees her family return, be it after a 20 minute errand or a 6 month absence due to a child spending a semester in college.
What might happen, when looking at your family dog, that you took a moment and saw your dog as if you were a child. Looking at your dog with the imagination of a child.
The lesson from this applies to your looking at a child, or a business partner or your wife or husband. All too often we close our eyes to what is before us as we blind ourselves with our thoughts and our opinions.
Kabat-Zinn says, “when your mind changes, new possibilities tend to arise. In fact everything changes when you can see things on different levels simultaneously, when you can see fullness and connectedness as well as individuality and separateness. Your thinking expands in scope beyond your limited preoccupations with yourself. It can put things in a larger perspective. It will certainly change the way you relate to the dog.” (p. 154).
And from The Little Prince, “Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.”
I recall my grandfather at the birth of my oldest son. He said to me, “enjoy your next 18 years. After that your son will be an adult.” What he did not tell me was that after only 13 years, my oldest son’s peer group replaced, in great measure, me … and that our relationship today is one of an adult with an adult. Thanks for the advice … but I wish, during those moments in my son’s 5th year of life, I had taken it, then, more to heart.
So as you look at your dog, or your wife, or your child, or your yard, or the garage which still requires a cleaning, take a moment and pause, and with the eyes of a child, look at that thing and see it. Really see it.
Until next time, take a breath!
Words from Dr. Frank Wood, a licensed psychologist and Director of the Institute on Mindfulness, located in Cincinnati, Ohio. For more information on our programming visit our website.
The books cited in this blog were:
Saint-Exupery, A. (1974). The Little Prince. London: Pan Books,
Kabat-Zinn, J. (2009). Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. Fifteenth Anniversary Edition. New York: Bantam Dell.
More of Frank’s articles on life and stress and the way out of stress:
Is It Shyness or Social Anxiety Disorder | Try Social Fitness
Seeing in a New Way | Every Day Mindfulness
Visit Frank’s website and eliminate the stress in your life. If you are in Cincinnati, stop by his center. Remember also to keep visiting The Ultimate Stress Blog.
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