Deeper Meditation Blog Video Zone

Eye Gazing Partner Meditation for Couples

In the video and article below, you will learn the powerful eye gazing meditation technique and increase your capacity for intimacy and compassion.

It’s designed as a partner meditation for couples, but you can also practice this solo by gazing into a mirror.

You can start by smashing the play button. After that, you can listen to the instructions. 

If that’s not enough, you can read along with my voice as well. There’s a transcript below the video. 

Bald eagles practicing eye gazing meditation as partners

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The eye gazing meditation is a powerful emotional cleansing tool which also radically deepens the capacity for intimacy. It dissolves the barriers that make intimacy on a deep level impossible.

Many suggest that you do this technique with your lover because it’s great as a couples meditation. However, I’ve found that doing this gazing meditation with acquaintances and strangers has very profound effects on your ability to connect with people. It releases a lot of pent up baggage no matter who your partner is.

If you do this meditation with a non-lover, it will increase compassion and your ability to be available and present with all people. Your fear will dissolve.

We humans do have a lot of social baggage, and we’re all a bit afraid of each other deep down. We’re also afraid of ourselves, so mirror gazing practitioners have something to gain here as well.

It’s time to heal all that stuff. World peace depends on it.

How to Do the Eye Gazing Meditation

Eye gazing pandas

Sit facing each other or lie down next to each other. If you’re sitting, you can place a pillow on your knees and put your palms together or hold hands. This part is optional.

Gaze into your partner’s eyes. This is not a staring contest. Relax the gaze and allow the eyes to defocus a little bit. You’ll be more open to taking in the experience of each other that way.

Breathe through the nose and relax.

Your meditation object is the experience of your partner. He/she is an experience happening inside you. Relax and experience whatever happens. Allow the gaze to increasingly soften, and your breath to increasingly deepen, as you become more open to the experience.

The experience of your partner is always new and fresh in each moment. There is always some new dynamic occurring during the gaze. Each moment is fresh.

The shape of your partner’s face may change. You may see different colors. They may change into other forms. Just hang out with it all.

Stuff will come up and arise within you. You may feel tension, sadness, anger, guilt, resentment, awkwardness and other feelings. Always be present with this and take note of it as an impartial observer.

The more you can relax into and “hang” with moment to moment experience, the more of the baggage you can release. Release may manifest through tears, burping, farting, yawning, sudden laughter or tension release and more. Allow all these things during the eye gazing meditation. Be careful that the laughter is not a clever device for blocking the flow of experience.

Some teachers recommend that you do the eye gazing meditation for at least 20 minutes for the highest benefit. You can also do it for up to an hour. If you and your partner want to go beyond that, go for it.

Try out the eye gaze, with either a partner or a mirror. Singles and couples, let us know your experiences in the comment form below.

Tom Von Deck author box

Tom Von Deck is a meditation trainer, speaker and author of Oceanic Mind – The Deeper Meditation Training Course. Tom specializes in making meditation much much easier for busy and non-busy people from all backgrounds and paths. He is the Mackdaddy of The Deeper Meditation Video Zone and DeeperMeditation.net. 

3 Comments

  • Tom Von Deck

    Sometimes those things don’t become clear until later. Be sure to write down everything you can remember. You probably caught fragments of a larger message, kind of like icebergs popping out of the ocean’s surface. The larger iceberg, which includes the much larger portion beneath the surface, is the message. If you take note of everything you experienced and record it, it may just “click” at some point. You can also try the Theta meditation on my site and ask for more insight on what you experienced during the partner meditation.

  • Virginia

    I did it for my first time with a stranger in a class. Her body & around her changed colors (mostly blue, but a little green & orange). It looked like the colors came from my right side and went over her like a wave. It was very vivid. Even when the orange came, it was like a wave from my right side over her. Everything changed how it looked, except her eyes. Were the colors her energy or mine (both mixed)? She said she saw orange and blue on/around me. I also saw “space”. Like darkness with little lights. I was blinking, so not from staring. I know what it all felt like, but I’d love to read more about it.

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